too BLESSED to be STRESSED...

a 4-year contract 'being paid' as a student will end within less than 2 months..
i will not say about how fast time flies cause i know it does ..

looking back to before signing this contract, i had never even thought of going abroad.
my plan was just go high school, then university, just in my hometown would do. the reason was, i had limitation in my foreign language mastery.so i thought if i stayed there, i didnt need to feel any concern about it.

it didn't go according to my plan, but i just went for it. it was a better one though. honestly, i was struggling as i found it difficult to communicate with people from different nation.but i once stayed in my comfort zone and was too lazy to move out from this zone. though i knew that little proficiency in English language was a barrier, i didn't really put any effort to remove it, as i thought communicating with people who could understand what i said was good enough. i still had friends though. finally i stayed in my comfort zone for the first 2 years and i  realized how that had disadvantaged me. i was lacked of communication skill. People may find me quiet, but i was being 'mute', especially in class. i just felt not confident to speak. the thought of  "i didnt want to waste their time to wait for me to come out with a word that i couldn't recall" was planted on my head. Moreover, i was placed in a community where there must be perfection in the use of English. After some times i was quite used to be a 'mute' girl, and found it normal not to talk at all for the whole day in class.and i thought i pretty enjoy my life?

However, i decided to step out from this comfort zone after i came in to a new community..i just told myself not to feel inferior of my weakness, instead to try to improve on it. yeah, i had to say that my second half of the journey was more colourful as i began to know more people, from different ethnics and background. i felt the boon of involvement in many communities. i also realized the importance of maximizing our capacity, as every effort that we put in would bear some fruits. yeah maximizing capacity could mean that we put higher expectation on ourselves, so we would be realistically upgraded and not downgraded. From this, at least i can speak and write more properly, compared to the previous 2 years, though it may not be perfect yet. but at least, this is comprehensible rite?haha.. and naturally, each stage i experienced has brought me closer to the end phase of my jc life.

as the clock ticking and the journey is nearing the end,
many may feel anxious for the upcoming examinations.
but, i have reasons not to be.

i know in 'theory' that he will never leave me. it was written in that manual book that he never forsake me nor leave me.
but still, my human nature made me simply wondering..
as you knew, sometimes the words of encouragement might be cliche as you heard them for so many times and had been stuck in your head, thus became impactless..
but this uncertainty was answered at a quiet time..
not by words or by anyone there..
i just felt the warmth of his embrace while tears began to drop
really, not because i was sad or scared as at that time there were only 4 weeks left before the battle began.
it was purely because i felt assured,
glimmering hope was becoming more luminous.
and this voice came to me:
"If i have been with you for these 4 your journey since the beginning of it, why i should not remain with you for the rest of it.
even now i will hold you tighter, and make you stronger each day. i want you to be victorious. you dont need to worry about anything.
i will still be with you, to guide you, till the end of your 4 year journey,
in fact i will still remain, not only until this journey ends, but my presence will always be with you, follow you wherever you go. and i will still be in for your next chapter of your journey, my child."

currently, my source of motivation is not because i want to be the best, nor to secure a place in the most prestigious university, nor for my own self-satisfaction.
i just want to give my best for Him, to live a purpose driven life, for He has been amazingly good to me.
he has proven his greatness and he gives me hope for the future.

i realise that it is only 3 weeks left before it begins,
but no point being stressed out, coz it will just be another source of distraction.
i will enjoy my A level period, the time where i am assured that He is walking along with me.
the time when i can feel that he is so close to me.
just do the best for him..
i can't rely on my own strength for i'm nothing without him,
but i believe in his guidance and his further plan for me.
i'm just trying to be the best i can be, so that in every aspect of my life, i can glorify him, as i place him at the centre of my life.

all the best everyone.. i think i may not post anything else until a level ends;p